I’ve left the grid behind. From 38,000 feet, the texture of the hills looks like crumpled brown kraft paper. Rather than the right angles of the roads and fields and woodlots of the Midwest, the roads and creeks and rivers and valleys switchback and meander. The towns that appear bring their angles and order, but soon enough, the wild lands return.
I’m weary and working on shaking out the stress. I’m not sure I understood the gravity of real estate transactions, how they force me into a world where I can succeed and exist and get by. But that world with its crossed t’s and dotted i’s and documentation feels strange and foreign. I cannot thrive there indefinitely. I’m glad to see an ending soon.
Soon enough the mental drudgery of inspection responses, lending agreements and negotiations involving furnaces and home warranties will be behind us and more tangible things will take their place.
Packing boxes, loading a moving truck, scrubbing up our home to make it ready for its new owners (who I don’t think will appreciate it quite the same). These are physical acts with a clearly defined beginning and end. There are deadlines to meet. I’m looking forward to these after weeks of piles of papers and online signatures (none of which really look like mine.)
With the physical, sprinkled in like a dusting of finishing salt, comes the bittersweet, the parting of ways with old bikes infused with drunken memories, the last days of work with awkward hugs and tearful goodbyes. Acknowledging that it’s not going to work out to fly us all home in a month for my annual family reunion. The not knowing about what the fall and winter holidays are going to look like this year. The reality that I’m leaving jobs that I really enjoy and appreciating the rarity of that. The sometimes brutal beating that my self-worth takes during a job search.
On top of that sadness and stress is an enormous heap of excitement and adventure. I’m thrilled to consider living in the mountains, to be so near the amazing national forests surrounding Prescott. Those trails and their pine forests absolutely make my soul sing loudly and off-key.
I’m traveling today to spend a few days looking at our new home. Making sure it’s the right one for us for now. It looks beautiful and I feel really good about it.
If you have a moment over the next couple of days and feel inclined to say a few words of prayer or to send some light or positivity our way, I’d certainly appreciate it. It certainly feels like we’re getting over the hump.
It’s going to be a great month. Here we go.